Friday, May 18, 2007

Frost/Nixon


At the end of Peter Morgan's Frost/Nixon, currently running a limited engagement at the Bernard B. Jacobs Theater, a live televised image of Frank Langella, as Richard Nixon, is projected on a large multi-monitor mosaic backdrop. The image is frightening, the stuff of nightmares, not so much because it is the moment when Nixon finally admits wrong-doing, but because Frank Langella’s heavily made-up face looks like a large Mardi-Gras puppet head.

It is often said that the camera hides nothing, but here the camera reveals very little. With a great disservice done to Mr. Langella’s uncanny imitation of Richard Nixon, the large video image allows the audience to really look into his eyes, and the eyes will always call the actor’s bluff. And here the bluff was obvious: Langella’s performance is nothing more than a well-rehearsed caricature. There was no inner life in his eyes. Just Frank Langella.

When I saw Oliver Stone’s Nixon with Anthony Hopkins as the paranoid President. the characterization was so excessive in it’s sleaziness that I began it to feel sorry for ol’ Tricky Dick. But perhaps I have some perspective, as the Nixon era happened during my childhood and I never really comprehended the zeitgeist of Watergate. It is hard for me to hate Nixon precisely because I view him as an historical figure, who is intriguing in both his excesses and his genius. The Nixon administration is yet another historical case study of the corruption of power.

I remember watching the Nixon interviews on our console television. I was mostly bored by the proceedings, unsure why father was screaming obscenities at the television. Years later, upon seeing them again, I was struck by how disarmingly charming Nixon was in his self-effacement. Nixon, of course, was a Quaker, a sect known for it’s active pacifism, an intriguing contradiction for someone who ordered the carpet bombing of Cambodia.

But Frank Langella’s Nixon, with his exaggerated stooped walk and carefully studied gesticulations and vocal inflections, is a disarmingly charming caricature but bereft of the venality and menace that lurked underneath Nixon’s affability. I didn’t hate the Langella Nixon, I didn’t love the Langella Nixon. I simply didn’t care.

As David Frost, Michael Sheen is simply awful and representative of the most amateurish qualities of the British school. Aimlessly perambulating around the stage to depict Frost’s ambitious restlessness, I wanted to shout at him to stop. Motion does not equal turmoil. It just means the actor and director have no clue as to what they’re doing. Equally amateurish were the wistful glances outward intended to depict intense self-reflection, but just looked stupid. Sheen’s poor stage training was most evident in an early scene when David Frost is chatting with his producer. Never engaging his producer, Sheen’s Frost played the entire scene facing the audience. In actor terms, that is called “cheating out”. It’s cheating precisely because the audience is supposed to be unaware of it. But with Sheen, I was not only aware of it, but his self-conscious stage presence completely detached him from the through line of the scene.

Equally irritating was Stephen Kunkin as Jim Reston. As the narrator and moral conscience, he was often posed, leaning against the wall, watching the action with contempt and editorial comment.

As Jack Brennon, Nixon’s bellicose chief of staff, Corey Johnson embarrasses himself by standing and, for no apparent reason, barking his lines. It is yet another hackneyed characterization, the military man who’s single overriding characteristic is to bark like a drill sergeant. The rest of the cast were equally uninspired and two-dimensional.

Despite the acting, I did enjoy Peter Morgan's script. No new ground is broken, but it's swift and clever. Unfortunately, it is bogged down in the pedestrian direction of Michael Grandage. Grandage belongs to the "Pretty Picture" school of directing, where every moment is contrived to present a composed picture to the audience. Unfortunately, dramatic action is not static and not composed of pretty pictures and only emphasizes the two dimensionality of the acting. Theater is a temporal craft, like dance or music. If I wanted to look at pretty pictures, I would go to the museum.

Friday, May 11, 2007

That's Paris, France! Asshole!

This just in from the brilliant editors at TMZ:

Free Paris Protest Fizzles Big Time - TMZ.com

Free Paris Protest Fizzles Big Time

Posted May 10th 2007 5:45PM by TMZ Staff

Filed under: Wacky and Weird, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton got a very public show of support this afternoon from some deeply concerned and passionate citizens of New York -- all three of them.

The well-publicized rally in Greenwich Village -- timed to coincide with New York University's graduation ceremonies -- fell just a little bit short of expectations, with just three protesters fighting the pro-Paris fight, calling her a victim and a martyr. They also carried signs saying "Ike Was Right -- Free Paris." Uh, that's Paris ... France, not Hilton, guys.

Our man on the scene noted an "Access Hollywood" reporter joked with other media types assembled for the action, "So you got all dressed up with nowhere to go." Sounds a little like Paris in a few short weeks.



Are the editors of TMZ mentally retarded? Did they really not see this was a big joke? Do I live in an alternate universe? Did I miss something?


I struggle with these questions. Even more, I struggle with the embarrassment revealing I'm addicted to reading TMZ.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Glory Hole Days


Yours Truly secretly snapped this pic of my good friend Mark pleasuring Bruce Springsteen at a GOP Fundraiser. It looks like Bruce is working up quite a sweat!

The Waiting Game

Just about every Meisner-trained teacher begins a new class the same way... As students sit in excited anticipation of their first class, the teacher will walk in about five minutes late. After dispensing with attendance and directions to the bathroom, the teacher will address the class.

“Before I came in, what was everyone doing?”

Usually one or two students will say something like “I was talking to the person next to me.”

“That’s vocal. Are you a British-trained actor?”

Another answer: “I was tapping my feet.”

“That’s a behavioral result. The worst kind of actor is result-oriented.”

Finally, one unusually bright student would say, “We were waiting for you.”

“Exactly! You can act that. Acting is doing.”

It’s a valuable lesson on many levels. It encapsulates in one simple example the entire foundation of Meisner training... Acting Is Doing, while it illustrates the most basic dramatic through-line: Most of life is spent in anticipation of the next thing. (For screenwriters the maxim is paramount. What is beguiling to audiences is not so much about what is happening now, as wanting to know what will happen next.)

What do we wait for? Everything. We wait for the coffee to brew. We wait at traffic lights. We wait in line for the movies. We wait for news from our doctor. We wait for a beer at the bar. We wait for a sick person to die. We wait for the bus. We wait for the elevator. We wait to reunite with our beloved. We wait for God to answer our prayers. We wait... wait... wait...

And so it is in the theater, the only difference being that the wait is never casual. It is always important. The greater the importance, the greater the tension built in anticipation of the event to come. Waiting is the string that tunes tighter and tighter until the moment of revelation and resolution. It is distilled human drama.

Frost/Nixon tonight

Yours truly is attending a performance of "Frost/Nixon" this evening. Ben Brantley, employing his time-tested critical technique of fellating his subject, wrote that I should have a good time.



Frank Langella as Nixon... scary. Review to come!





Friday, April 27, 2007

Who said you could act?

Did you just roll out of bed one morning and think, "I'm going to be an actor!"

That is so cool.

You've seen so many movies, you don't need to learn anything. You're a natural. Acting is easy. It's getting the job that's hard. Right?

You bet! But you've got looks, you've got moxie. And you were cast as the lead in your high school production of "Guys and Dolls." You know how to memorize lines. That's really what acting is all about! Know your lines and the rest will follow.

Happy auditioning!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Frank Converse is a douche-bag




Okay. So I do have a small score to settle...

When Yours Truly was a wee pre-adolescent, I snagged a speaking role on a 70s television show starring Frank Converse and Claude Aikins. I worked with both of them for one day. Claude Akins, I remembered, was a featured player in "Planet of the Apes." My mother knew Frank Converse's work on early television, but I had never heard of him. On the day of shooting, I remember he took me aside and talked with me about the life of the actor. I had just screwed up a take. I didn't hit my mark because I was paralyzed with fear as a herd of cows stampeded towards me. All I remember were assistant directors waving red bandanas, knee deep in cow manure, luring them away from running me down, and the director screaming at me.

So Frank Converse and I had our moment of bonding. I will never forget how he told me not to feel bad. It was a difficult shot, but now that I had made the mistake, I wouldn't make it again.

He had that right. The next take was flawless.

Fast forward 12 years. Yours Truly, Tobias Lovecraft, is working at a small restaurant on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. One day, while I was working the lunch shift, Frank Converse came in for a cup of coffee and a Lemon Linzer Torte. Stunned, I served him without comment. He came in the next day. And the next. I suspected that he was working on a soap opera, but I never bothered to investigate further. It was before the internet, otherwise I would have Googled his ass. Anyway, after the fifth day, I decided to introduce myself.

"Um, you're Frank Converse, right?" I asked.

Without looking up from his Lemon Linzer Torte he replied, "Yeah."

"Well, do you remember when you were doing ****** and there was an episode with a herd of cows and a farmboy?" I continued, my voice breaking with excitement. Frank and I were pals, weren't we?

Still not looking up, Frank replied, "Yeah."

"Well, I was the farm boy." I said it triumphantly, while watching his reaction. He didn't flinch. He just poked at his Linzer Torte.

He picked up the last piece of Lemon Linzer Torte with his fork and studied it. "I remember the cows," Frank said, "but I don't remember you." He said the last moment looking me directly in the eyes, holding the fork in his mouth like he was thinking about stabbing me with it.

I walked away, bitch-slapped and annoyed. "That's okay, Frank," I thought, "In a few years no one will remember you, either."

Unfortunately, I still remember him. What a douche-bag!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A Simple Reality Test

The next time you go to the theater, ask yourself this question:
Am I watching people live in a place and a time or am I watching actors moving around a stage reciting lines?
The theater should be an almost excruciating intimate experience. The audience should become completely engaged in the the excitement of observing without being observed. We are flies on the wall of an unfolding human drama.

As William Hazlitt wrote:
The theater is but a representation of life with the boring parts cut out.
The theater has the potential to provide the one entertainment experience that the public cannot otherwise get: To bear witness to real human conflict as imagined by the playwright, at the moment of its happening.

So ask yourself this question:

Why am I watching a false representation of life when I a true representation of life is so much more interesting?

Monday, April 23, 2007

I hate Marian Seldes.


There. I said it. Out loud. In public.

I hate Marian Seldes.

I don't mean I hate her personally. I hate her acting. She is mannered. Her work is unimaginative. She's funny looking, with feet like a stork. She's unpleasant to watch, her performances are so smug and condescending, and well, mannered and self-important.

Why do I care?

Because everyone LOVES Marian Seldes. Just the mere mention of her name draws hushed reverence as people bow their heads while whispering "I LOVE Marian Seldes" like a "Hail Mary." It is simply remarkable to see. And it's never based on a particular performance. It's based on her legend, the lore that has developed around her. The aura of the stage celebrity is fundamentally different from the film celebrity in one peculiar respect: the stage celebrity doesn't necessarily depend on the financial success of their work as much as the glowing reviews which keep them working from one show to the next. And these glowing reviews, over the fullness of time and depending on how well they are cultivated by the stage actor, have a cumulative effect of bestowing a perpetual shield against negative criticism. They become Living National Treasures, their future is secure, pensioned by loving public approval.

And so, Marian Seldes, the grandest dame of the theater today, has risen to the highest level of professional accomplishment, and yet she is simply a hack.

And it's not really her fault. She's doing what she was taught, or what she believed she was taught. Yes, Marian has a certain charm and magnetism which people seem to find irresistible. The trouble is charm and magnetism are the raw materials which give actors a natural advantage, but it never should be confused for talent or skill. Marian poses and recites her lines like a pretentious society matron in a community theater production of "Our Town". There is no inner life in her work. Just the gaudy veil of self-conscious conceit. Watching Marian Seldes perform is like having someone wink at you at every moment. You don't watch a person living in a place at a time, you watch a "Great Actress" in a "Great Performance" crafted with hoary clichés. She's a ham bone. There isn't one real moment in her work.

Then what makes me right and everyone else so wrong? What gives me the credibility to point out that the Emperor has no clothes? She must be a great actress if she's so highly revered. Right?

Wrong.

To be continued...

Actors Suck!

Imagine this...



You have just purchased tickets to hear the hottest concert pianist on the world scene today. You just can't miss it. All the newspaper reviews are going crazy about him. And so, wearing your best tuxedo, you arrive looking forward to hearing the acclaimed Genius play a live concert.



The lights dim. We break out in applause as the Genius, with the muscular confidence of prodigal youth, strolls to the black gleaming concert grand Steinway, seating himself, poised to play. We are riveted in anticipation and vague sexual arousal. He looks like Josh Hartnett! No one would be listening with their eyes closed tonight.



The program is Beethoven's Emperor's Concerto, a real crowd-pleasing chestnut from the Romantic repetoire. It promises to be an exciting evening.



The symphony begins to play. The Genius prepares to attack the first note. His moment arrives. He starts to play. Wait a minute. What the fuck are you hearing? Is he really playing... no, you think, this has to be a joke! The Genius, swaddled in the luxurious patina of privileged manhood, is playing... CHOPSTICKS????



No. Not only "Chopsticks", but he also pounds notes with the reckless zeal of a two-year-old on his Charlie Brown piano. It is god-awful. You look around. Surely everyone else gets the joke? But no! The audience sits in rapt attention, following each crashing chord with swooning gestures of the hands and head.



Finally, the cacophony ceases. The Genius stands to take his bow and the audience leaps to its feet in a loud, cheering ovation. Two, three, four, five bows; three acknowledgments of the symphony, and the audience roars on with approval.



You sit there in a state of shock and uncertainty. You refuse to succumb to the tyranny of the standing ovation that compels many to their feet. Are you crazy? Are they crazy? Who is crazy? You know what you heard. You know what you saw. The Genius did not know how to play the piano at all. The Genius did not even know where middle C was located. And he's a sensation? Because he looks like Josh Hartnett? That's the sum total of his musical talent? Has the world gone mad?



As silly as the above scenario sounds, it is what I go through every time I go to see theater. I sit there, simply stunned at the level of incompetence at the highest professional level of production.





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